


Flowers, green cards and unknown co-ordinates

by SilverMyfanwy



Series: One Spiderkid and his Clan [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Avengers Family, Avengers Tower, Cows, Dinosaurs, Domestic, Domestic Avengers, Domestic Fluff, Father's Day, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff, Gen, Green Cards, M/M, Missions, Multi, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Precious Peter Parker, Presents, Teleportation, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, White House, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-10-20 10:01:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17620346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverMyfanwy/pseuds/SilverMyfanwy
Summary: In which Tony learns to like flowers when they're from Peter on Father's Day, the President learns not to offer Spiderman rewards and Peter learns not to disable the tracker on his suit.





	Flowers, green cards and unknown co-ordinates

**Author's Note:**

> Yay! Part Three!  
> Can be read as a stand-alone.  
> Let me know if you think I missed any tags.

“Mr. Captain America sir,” Peter asked shyly, “would you mind helping me with something please?”

Steve turned around to face Peter and nearly fell over in shock when he saw that Peter was hanging upside-down from the ceiling and had managed to get onto his and Bucky's floor without making a sound or alerting JARVIS. “How did you get in here?”

“JARVIS helped. And JARVIS helped me time it so that Mr. Seargant Rogers-Barnes wasn’t in when I did it so that I didn’t give him a fright or get a knife in my stomach accidentally.” Peter explained and climbed down from the ceiling. “It’s Father’s Day next weekend and-”

“Is that why you were giving Wanda a slideshow presentation on it yesterday?” Steve interrupted.

“Yeah. And, um, Wanda’s decided that Father’s Day is stupid and that she wants no part in it but I wanna get some flowers for someone but I don’t know where to get any from and I don’t know how to get any either.”

“You want me to help you get some flowers?” Steve guessed.

“Yes please.” Peter smiled shyly. “If that’s alright and you have time and everything.”

“Yeah. Are you getting the flowers for Tony?”

Peter went bright red and nodded. “I been tryna think of something really good to get him but I- I also don’t wanna get something really over the top so I thought I’d get flowers. Do you think it’s a good idea? Or do you think I should get something else?”

“I think flowers will be fine.” Steve smiled. “Do you know what kind you want to get?”

“Not really.”

“Shall we go and see if we can find a florist’s and have a look around?”

Peter nodded. “Do you know where one is?”

“No. Bucky might though.”

“Does Bucky like flowers?”

“He doesn’t mind them, he’s just spent a lot longer walking around New York memorising details than I have. JARVIS, where’s Bucky?”

“I believe he is in the kitchen, Captain.”

“Thanks.”

They went to the kitchen and found Bucky doubled over with laughter as he watched Bruce remove a bottle of lumpy green liquid from the fridge.

“Why are you laughing? And what’s that green stuff?” Steve asked.

“Thor’s… decided… to become… a scientist!” Bucky managed to wheeze out. “So he made a potion and put it in the fridge to see what would happen and now he’s gone to measure pigeon wingspans in Times Square.”

“Pigeon wingspans in Times Square?”

“Yes!”

Steve had gone very pale. “You do realise that we’re responsible for Thor, don’t you?”

Bucky froze. “Are we?”

“Yes. But never mind that now, do you know where we can find a florist?”

“No, but JARVIS will.” Bucky said. “JARVIS? My husband wants to know where he can find a florist, please help him find one. I have knives to clean. Good luck.” Bucky ruffled Peter’s hair and walked out.

Steve smiled. “And now we quest for flowers.”

JARVIS gave them a map and a colour-coded, laminated list of directions on how to get to the florist’s. They managed to find it and Steve went to look at shop windows while Peter went inside to get flowers.

-

Peter arranged for a bunch of flowers to be sent to the Tower on Father’s Day and headed off to find Steve. He found him in a deli, talking to a woman about pickles. He excused himself from the conversation the moment he caught sight of Peter.

“Did you manage to get some flowers?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. What’s a cucumber?”

“What do you mean, ‘what’s a cucumber’?” 

“That lady was talking about cucumbers and pickles and I don’t know what cucumbers are.” Steve pulled out a notebook and a pen from his pocket. “How’s it spelt? I’ll google it when we get home.”

“C-U-C-U-M-B-E-R. We’ll got to Walmart and I’ll show you.” Peter smiled.

“So it’s edible?”

“Yes.”

“Is it nice?”

“It’s alright.”

At Walmart, the manager came out to promise Steve a year’s supply of free cucumbers.

-

Peter’s nerves built and built in the lead up to Father’s Day. When the actual day came, he spent the whole morning hiding in the gym, watching Natasha idly throw knives at a cardboard cut-out of a Russian politician. After about three hours, she had enough of him fidgeting up and down the walls and along the ceiling and pointed a knife at him. “Peter, what’s going on?”

Peter dropped to the floor and looked down at his feet. “It’s Father’s Day.”

Nat’s face fell. “And you’re sad that you don’t have anyone?”

“No. I’m terrified coz the other week Tony said he wanted a Father’s Day present from me and Wanda but Wanda didn’t want to do it when she found out what Father’s Day was so I ordered some flowers myself and I got the text thingy that said they’d been dropped off but I’m too scared to check or ask JARVIS and I’m stayin’ down here coz Tony probably won’t come down here.”

“So you’re hiding?” Nat seemed unable to hide a grin.

Peter hung his head in shame. “yes.”

“No shame in hiding if it’s saving your neck.”

Peter’s face fell and he buried his hands in his pockets. “You think he’s gonna be mad?”

Natasha realised what she’d said and shook her head hastily. “No. I think he’s going to be thrilled with it.”

Peter perked up. “Really?”

“He might not show it like most people would, but he will be thrilled with it. You didn’t send him roses, did you?”

“No. That’d be weird.”

“Have you seen him yet today?”

“Course I haven’t! I’ve been hiding!”

“Go and see him. The longer you wait, the worse you’ll feel.”

Peter didn’t move and shook his head firmly.

“Go and see if he wants a coffee or I will get JARVIS to tell him that you’ve been injured.” Nat threatened.

“How will I have been injured?”

“Blender or rogue pigeon. You can pick.”

-

Peter found himself waiting in the lift on the way up to Tony’s office, where JARVIS said he was working. His hands were clammy, his mouth was dry and his heart pounding far too fast to be healthy. Nerves started to get the better of him and he wondered if asking to take the lift back down would be a good idea.

Then the doors opened.

Tony looked up from a tablet and smiled. The bunch of flowers Peter had ordered was sitting in a glass vase on his desk. “Hey Peter!”

Peter stepped out of the lift, ends of his sleeves tugged over his hands. “Hey.”

Tony gestured to the flowers with his pen. “These from you?”

Peter nodded.

“For Father’s Day?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s disgusting. Please do it again next year. I’ve been thinking about making some adjustments to the tracker on your suit, wanna take a look?”

Peter beamed from ear to ear and walked over to the desk.

“You're going to take Steve and Bucky into school for Grandparents’ Day, aren’t you?” Tony asked absentmindedly checked.

“If they’ll go.”

Tony grinned. “They’ll go.” he paused. “Thanks kid.”

“I should be the one thanking you.”

“For what?”

“For being my dad. That’s the whole point of Father’s Day, isn’t it?”

Tony looked up down for a moment, then looked up, eyes shining. “Gimme a hug kid.”

-

The creature currently ambling its way along the side street looked like a cross between a dinosaur and a mackerel. It wasn’t hurting anyone or doing any damage, so Peter allowed himself to spend three minutes sitting on a rooftop looking at it and trying to work out what it was. He didn’t recognise the species and no one had contacted him to tell him not to go after it, so he swung a line out to the next rooftop and went after it.

“Oi! Mackrelosaur! Ooh, that’s actually a decent name.” Peter caught its attention, grabbed a pallet from a stack on the roof and threw it at the creature’s nose. It roared, shot Peter a glare and carried on walking.

This stopped Peter dead in his tracks. Aliens and mutated monsters never, ever, _just_ took a hit on the nose from a pallet and carried on walking.

Peter followed it, leaping from rooftop to rooftop alongside it. It seemed as if the creature was taking great care not to step on anything, although occasionally the odd car did get squashed. It wasn’t attacking anyone or breaking anything; just walking.

“Peter, what is that thing doing?” Tony’s voice was muffled.

“It’s walking and I can’t hear you properly.”

Tony’s voice became clearer. “There was blu-tack in the microphone. It was dyed green, though. You know anything about that?”

“Not, but if it’s green then it’s probably snot. This thing- I’m calling it the mackrelosaur, is that okay?”

“yeah, yeah, call it whatever you want just as long as it’s not something copyrighted. Where’s it going?”

“Um…” Peter squinted into the distance. “It’s walking in a straight line, hang on. It’s turning a corner, going right towards- I think it might be going for the river.”

“The river? Why the hell would it be going there?”

“Probably because it’s part mackerel? I dunno, where are mackerel from, anyway? And where’s this thing from?”

“Not sure.”

The mackrelosaur turned another corner, onto a road with an army blockade. The soldiers immediately started firing at it. The mackrelosaur did not like this at all and began roaring and screaming, thrashing its tail around and smashing open the buildings either side of it.

“Peter, you need to get off the roof!” Tony ordered.

“They need to stop shooting at it! It wasn’t doing anything!” Peter yelled angrily. “You’ve got to get them to stop, they can’t shoot it!”

“JARVIS, get Rhodey on the line.” Tony muttered.

“I’m gonna try and- oh. It’s walking over the blockade. I’m gonna try and get it to the river, do you think that’s a good idea?”

“Give it a go.”

“Are you sending stuff in to keep those buildings up?”

“Already on it. And remember, don’t do anything I would do or anything I wouldn’t do either.”

“Can I have Karen back? She gives more helpful advice.”

Tony sighed. “Fine. Speak to you in a bit kid.”

“Yeah.”

“Stay safe.”

And with that, Peter jumped off the building he was on top of and onto the mackrelosaur’s back. It hardly reacted when he landed; merely made a grunting noise and carried on plodding.

In the end, Peter didn’t have to direct or steer the mackrelosaur at all. It walked to the river, waited until Peter had got off, then stepped into the water and swam out to the Atlantic.

Spiderman was hailed as a hero.

-

There was a dinner.

There was an _official dinner_ with the Mayor of _New York City_ just because Peter sat on the mackrelosaur’s back until it went into the river. It was also probably to do with the fact that the mackrelosaur didn’t show up again and thanks to Tony’s robots no one died when the buildings started falling down, either. So, because everyone seemed to quite like having a change from praising the Avengers, Spiderman was given the full honours at a dinner the mayor had asked the _President of the United States_ to host at the W _hite House._

Peter received the invite through watching the news with May. The mayor appeared at a press conference and invited Spiderman to the dinner, although he did make it very clear that they would be working with the Avengers to make sure that it was the real Spiderman who showed up to the event and not a fake in a cheap costume bought on eBay.

“I’ve been invited to a dinner at the _White House?”_ Peter gaped at May. “They’ve invited me to dinner at the White House? Oh my-”

“We need to get you a suit.” May said.

“What am I gonna need a suit for? I can’t wear one over the top of my Spiderman suit, can I?” Peter pointed out. “D’you think they’ll get the Queen to give me a knighthood? Could that actually happen?”

“I really don’t think that it could. We’re not in the Commonwealth.”

“Technically, if we asked really, really nicely, they might let us join as America was a British colony.”

“Only certain parts of America were British colonies, and they’d never let us in anyway. You need to ring Stark, find out when this dinner is and if he’s getting you there and providing accommodation and a chaperone and, oh, you need to get etiquette lessons.”

“Etiquette lessons?”

“Yes. It’s a fancy dinner at the White House, you can’t use the wrong fork or talk to the wrong person at the wrong course.”

“You’ve been watching documentaries about the royal family again haven’t you?”

“Maybe.”

-

Tony arranged for Peter to have etiquette lessons, Pepper sat at Peter’s side during the whole meal and prodded him in the side to stop him from making any mistakes. Everything went fine until Peter started talking to the President after the meal and things took an unexpected turn.

“You give up so much of your time to help other people and you risk your life so much to help people, you’ve saved so many lives and done so much, I really don’t know how I, _we_ , could say thank you enough. If there’s anything we can do….”

Peter rubbed the back of his neck. “Actually, there is something you could do.”

He whispered it to the President and the President’s face fell.

-

The nest day, the mailman delivered an amnesty green card to Wanda, who screamed with delight and hugged Peter.

-

At the next training run, Peter was allowed to go and run amok in the woods that the Avengers had closed off for the day. He was having a wonderful time, doing nothing but climb trees and do somersaults, until he attempted a cartwheel and tripped over a bit of tech left on the floor. Then the world went black.

-

The next thing Peter knew, he was standing in a field full of cows that had come over to have a look at him.

The wood was nowhere to be seen.

“Tony?” Peter called out. “Hello? Mr Stark? Mr Captain America sir? Thor? Is anyone there?”

There was no answer and no one in sight.

Peter sighed. “Hey Karen?”

“Yes Peter?”

“Can you ring Mr Stark?”

Tony answered immediately. “Peter? Where are you?”

“In a field.”

“Can you be more specific?”

“There are cows.” Peter said miserably.

“How are there cows? There isn’t any livestock for miles!”

“There are definitely cows.” one tried to lick Peter and he leaned away.

“Why can’t I track you? You’re not on my map.”

Peter winced. “I tuned off my tracker.” he said sheepishly. “I didn’t like your adjustments.”

Tony groaned. “How on earth did you end up in a field with cows? And why did you turn the tracker off?”

“I tripped over something in the woods and then I was here.”

“Hold tight. We’ll come and get you and I want an explanation.”

-

Peter was collected eleven hours later, by which point the cows had lost all interest in him and left him alone to make daisy chains.

“You’ve ended up in Holland.” Natasha said dryly as she walked out of the Quinjet to get him.

“Holland?”

“Holland.”

“Does Aunt May know? Is she mad?”

“She knows. She’s worried. Tony’s mad coz you turned your tracker off and didn’t give him the explanation he wanted.”

Peter went red.

“Just be grateful you landed in a field and not on the edge of a volcano.”

“How did I get here, anyway?”

“Accidental teleport. We think.”

“Accidental _teleport?”_

“Yep.”

-

Aunt May shouted at Tony a lot when he dropped Peter off. “If you lose my nephew one more time I will ring the police and have you arrested!”

“I’ll sort out the tracker on the suit and we will never lose him again. I’ll even microchip him, if you want.” Tony offered.

“Hey!” Peter protested.

“Just keep him safe.”

Tony gave Peter a hug and left.

May turned to Peter. “You’re getting an atlas for Christmas and then maybe you won’t get lost.”

“One time, May! One time! And it was Da- Tony’s fault.”

“Then maybe I’ll get _him_ an atlas.”

They giggled.

**Author's Note:**

> Part Four should be up very soon, as I've already finished writing it.  
> It's called Human Reproduction.  
> I'm loving writing this series and thank you for all the kudos and comments. They make my day.  
> Any suggestions for future ideas/fics you'd like to see in this series?


End file.
